I found myself at a plastic surgeons office this week sipping wine, eating shrimp cocktail and learning about how to melt your fat. Or, more specifically, how to freeze your fat. Really.
How did I come about this? Well, I have a friend whose husband is the plastic surgeon and we’ve all met on a couple of occasions and they were having a fat freezing party if you will and I got invited. I was probably a poor choice.
I mean, I’m a mom with little kids, I work part time, I drive a 13 year old car and I buy second hand couches. I don’t think I come across as the plastic surgery type. But man, I sure could be.
You will not hear me preaching about the dangers of plastic surgery or putting anyone down for doing it. Quite the opposite, if money was no object and I could easily take a week off of work, heck, I’d sign up for some laser liposuction in a heartbeat. I’m lazy. Just suck the fat out, thanks.
The procedure they were touting actually sounded pretty cool. They literally freeze your fat with this wand thing for an hour (per spot) and over the course of a few weeks your body eliminates the now dead frozen fat cells and they are gone forever. The results looked pretty impressive and another friend had pictures to show her before and after results. I would totally do this.
Unfortunately when I talked to the surgeon about the areas that were of concern to me he said that although the freezing thing could work, he knew he’d get excellent results with a laser liposuction procedure but couldn’t guarantee the same otherwise. Let’s just say that carrying twins leaves you with some extra skin and you can’t just freeze that off, but it can be tightened with lasers. That’s pretty cool. And expensive.
The cost of freezing 4 areas? $4500 but 20% off because I’d come to the party and drank their wine. Liposuction would cost about $7100 and require a week off of work. Ouch.
Now, I don’t know how involved the other women were getting or how many areas they were looking at but most of them were whipping out their date books and signing up on the spot. All I could think was, “Don’t you even have to consult with your husband?” Wow. Lucky girls.
I dutifully took my written estimate home with me and it is still sitting folded up in my purse along with a card so I can call later on to schedule. They will still honor the discount if I decide to do it later on. But the question I have to ask myself is, “Why?” Why would I do this?
Sure, I want to look better in a bathing suit but how many times per year do I actually wear one? Who is going to see me without my clothes besides my husband and my female GYN? (and the children who never let you pee in peace…). Am I going to stare in marvel at myself every day? That would be kinda creepy, even for vain old me. Who exactly am I going to impress?
I won’t lie. Even though I have perfectly rational answers for all of the above I did briefly consider this. Maybe because I AM lazy and don’t exercise. This would be a great quick fix. And, heck, don’t I deserve it after being rearranged by carrying my twins- to full term thank-you-very-much? Alas, it does not, however, seem to jive very well with my philosophy of contentment and simplicity, or the fact that I don’t even dye my hair anymore. Nor does the cost do much for the fact that I am trying to save for a car while also paying off a loan. I certainly can’t justify going into any kind of debt for vanities sake. But isn’t that what people do all the time?
Don’t people buy the fancy expensive car because it’s pretty and what it says about their status? Don’t they also buy the big McMansion in the good neighborhood for the same reasons? Their logo’d purses scream that they have good taste and their high heels say that they are willing to sacrifice comfort for looks. The drive to accumulate is often propelled by outside expectations of what we should look like, live like and drive around in. Plastic surgery is just another way to do that. It’s another form of consumerism. No more or less vain than anything else.
So, I’ll probably keep the paper for a little while to remind me of my little pipe dream to look better without exercise and eventually I will let it go. For most of us, life is not magical. I will, however, join a gym, and with God’s blessing, get back into shape.
Today I put on my bikini to take my little girl into the pool for her swim lesson because she is terrified and cries the whole time. She doesn’t care what my body looks like. She just cares that mommy is strong enough to hold onto her and keep her safe. I am good with that.
Have a beautiful day,