Five Guys walk of shame

Do you go to Five Guys? That mecca of bacon burgers and natural cut fries? I love it although my gut begs to differ. It happens to be one of the few “fast” food restaurants I am willing to go to because everything is gluten free except the buns and when you tell them you have an allergy they takes extra precautions not to contaminate your food. You can even watch them. Much more reassuring than having your food prepared in the bowels of some restaurant kitchen where only God knows what happens to your food. I choose carefully…

Well, I happened to be going in the direction of our local Five Guys on the way to a meeting on Friday and conveniently hadn’t brought my lunch so I stopped for lunch. Me the queen of brown bagging it, went out for lunch. I paid cash, don’t worry. I am no fool. But something happened while I was sitting there waiting for my order and it struck me as very interesting.

Every time they call out an order number, they also call out “No Fries!” if you don’t order fries. They do not, however, call out “With Fries!” when your order contains them. It’s like some kind of french fry discrimination. We who do not order fries are considered lesser citizens and must be called out for it. Make us an example. We are not worthy. Probably we should eat outside with out heads hung low and our hoods puled up to cover the shame of our existence…

So when my order came up and I didn’t order fries, they called out “Order 29! NO Fries!” (because as much as their fries are yummy, a bacon double cheeseburger with everything but the bun is quite filling), I got up, got my order and did my Five Guys walk of shame back to my seat. Oh the indignity of it all. But it was DELICIOUS 😉